Growing Up With You
by KTxx
Summary: 'Their story wasn't an epic fairy tale of love and happiness. Most of the time it was full of hurt... But it was theirs. And that's all that really mattered.' JD/Elliot. OneShot.


His first day. God, his first day was scary. He made a life-long enemy as soon as he walked through the door. He found a mentor. He found a friend. He found a whole new world which he wasn't sure if he even belonged in.

He found her.

She teased him. She challenged him. She made him forget about the scariness of Sacred Heart, even if it was just for a little while.

The point is that she was the only one who could do that to him.

And he could never forget it.

Not even when she threw him across a table.

* * *

_I don't love you._

Why did he even say that? Maybe he was scared of what she expected from him. Maybe he was scared of what she expected from them. Maybe it was because he wanted to be a better guy than her ex-boyfriend, the one that she left him for. Maybe he couldn't handle that.

He regrets it most of the time.

But other times he doesn't.

Because they're still young. They both have a demanding job. And have so many issues it's unbelievable. Commitment, Family, Insecurities, An inner voice that controls you... and that's just naming a few. Not to mention that he's a massive commitment phoebe.

Maybe it just wasn't the right time.

And maybe they could end up together one day and then they can be happy forever. You know, like the movies.

But Dr. Cox is right; it doesn't usually end that way.

* * *

_Bottom line is: its couples who are truly right for each other wade through the same crap as everybody else, but the big difference is they don't let it take them down. One of those two people will stand up and fight for that relationship every time. If its right and they're real lucky, one of them will say something._

Oh god. Oh god. Oh god.

He's gonna say something.

He's going to fight.

But...

She's going to marry Keith, and when he thinks about it. When he gets this idea in his head that once she says _I do _then everything is gone. All their past. All that love. All those kisses. They won't mean anything anymore. At least to her. Because she'll be focussing on being with Keith, they guy she wants to marry. The guy she wants to do the things with that JD always imagines them doing.

They're at 'The Proposal'. Of course, Elliot has planned it all perfectly. He knows what's going to happen. Keith is going to get down on one knee and give a speech about how much he loves her. But JD won't listen, he let those words sink into his mind. Because he knows they aren't true. Not completely true. Because he knows that Keith will never love Elliot the way he did. The way he still does.

He even crosses his fingers, praying that she'll say no.

She says _yes._

And he can't help but get the scene in his mind of what it would be like if she would have married him. Just like his other friends have been doing all day.

The Janitor imagined them looking at mini janitors and mini doctors, who weren't even theirs.

Turk imagined himself cheating on her with the maid, who in the real world happened to be his wife.

Dr. Cox imagined him killing her, which was _so_ worth it.

Dr. Kelso imagined her hating him, but who's surprised there?

Carla imagined them about to have tender, emotional sex.

But not him.

He didn't imagine something un-realistic. He didn't imagine something that could never happen. He didn't imagine them not being them. He didn't even see it as imaginary.

He saw it as something that could happen one day.

Something that he wanted to happen.

_They're sat on their couch. Her legs are folded underneath her and he's leaning casually against the corner, with his arms perched on the back of the couch and on the arm rest. She's leaning against him with her hand on one of his legs. And his cheek is resting against the top of her head. It's simple, but couldn't be more perfect to them._

_''You know what?'' he suddenly says after minutes of silence. ''I'm really happy that you're my wife.''_

_Elliot smiled. She felt exactly the same way. ''Me too.''_

_They both turned their heads so that they were now facing each other._

_He kissed her lightly, but of course he wanted more, he always did, she made him feel that way. So he cupped her cheek and kissed her again and again and again._

He knew that she something that she could never have with Keith. They couldn't ever be calm or natural. Elliot would control him, and Keith would comply. Everything would always seem perfect with them. But it never would be.

JD never puts up with her crap. Except from when she's in her mood swings.

And now none of them can have that because he said those four words that tore both of their world's apart years ago. And now he's left with a message in his mind that keeps spinning like a record. It just won't go away.

_It should have been me. _

* * *

It was an almost kiss. Almost. But she pulled away, because she's the good one. Sure, she could sleep with him when she was with Sean. _Maybe_ she cares more about Keith than he thought.

But of course he doesn't realise how much he's screwed her up. Those four words changed everything about her. Thanks to him.

In a strange way he's thankful for her pulling away.

It helped him realise that he didn't love Kim. He did, but not in _that_ way. He loves her for giving him a child, Sam. And he doesn't want Sam to go through the same thing he did when he was young. He doesn't want his son to have two parents who weren't together. But Turk helped him see that it was wrong. It wasn't fair to Kim.

He's also thankful for the way it helped her.

It helped her realise that she didn't love Keith. She did, but not in _that_ way. She loves him for all the fun he's brought her. And how wild he's made her feel by dating a younger person. But she just wants to be married. That's the one thing she's been sure that she's wanted. But now she knows that it was wrong. You shouldn't marry someone for the wrong reasons. It wasn't fair to Keith.

Because they never loved Kim or Keith in _that_ way.

They only ever love each other in _that_ way.

* * *

''Hey, do you ever still think of me in that way?''

It's been a while since Sam Perry Gilligan Dorian was born (Yes, Perry as in Perry Cox. Which is _not_ creepy.) JD has moved on, he's focussed on his son, while she's focussed on her work. They've still been there for each other, but _it_ was always there.

That constant want of being together again. That constant feeling that they're not good enough for the other, which they are. But c'mon, it's JD and Elliot. Nothing is ever simple with them. Haven't you realised that by now?

He tried to ignore the way his heart suddenly started to race when she said that. So he looked at her in confusion and asked _what way?_ Even though he knew perfectly well what way.

And then she appeared in his mind. Kneeled on a couch in a bra and small fabric covering her waist. Her hands placed on her hips as she looked at him flirtatiously.

Of course he still thinks of her in that way! She's _Elliot_!

''Uh, sometimes.'' he responded nonchalantly. ''Do you ever think of me in that way?''

Then they were suddenly in _that_ conversation. But it felt different than the other times. He felt more mature, he didn't feel as scared, and he felt ready for it now. Even though it's random, and unexpected. It doesn't freak him out like he thought it would.

So he admitted it. ''Elliot, I've never been able to get over the idea of 'us'.'' _Phew. _''I'm so crazy about you.''

She even said that she felt the same way. Even though she said it in an angry way. Like she was mad at herself for still feeling that way. He wanted to know why, even though it would bring back the familiar guilt he often feels for saying those four words many years ago.

''But JD, you crushed me. I mean, I gave you my love and you threw it back in my face. And pretty much scarred me romantically. I mean now I'm doomed to a life of gravitating so safe boring guys who I don't really love and I'm repelled by the ones I care for deeply. So thank you for that.''

Damn. He didn't want that much guilt.

''Look, if it helps you hurt me too. There were so many times when I wanted to be with you so badly and you shut me down.''

Then it leads to excuses of why that happened, and why they couldn't be together.

Blah. Blah. Blah.

Crap, did he say that out loud?

''We've just been down this road so many times, you know?'' Was his excuse. ''I mean, seriously. Doesn't just talking about it make you hate yourself a little bit?''

Elliot thought about it for a moment. ''I can't tell if I'm doing the normal amount of hating myself or if I'm at a _slightly_ higher level of self loathing.''

''You're too hard on yourself.''

That was true. She always put herself down. She didn't need to; she's the most beautiful woman he knows. He always wanted to make her believe in herself, but he never managed too. Those four words probably just made it worse.

Then she asked him if they're only having this conversation because they're lonely, and not had sex for months. Which may be true for her, which he certainly hopes not. But it's not for him. These are just feelings that have never gone away, which all are coming out now.

She also mentioned their history, and asked a very important question. Which could pretty much make it or break it.

''How can we ever get passed that?''

''We can't.'' he replied honestly. Even though he wants her back more than anything, he doesn't want to lie to her anymore. He wants her to be with him because she wants to be. One hundred percent.

And _that_ is where the conversation gets better.

Suddenly he suggests that they can actually learn from all of their mistakes and avoid them. Which is actually a pretty good idea. He even mentions Ross and Rachel, and how they shouldn't be like him.

It looks like she watched the Friends marathon too last night.

See, meant to be or what?

''The point is Elliot; you're a lot stronger than you used to be. And I've changed too... I have a beard now.''

''Do you still let that inner voice in your head control you?'' Elliot asked with a smirk.

_This is getting too serious, kick her, kick her in the head. _The inner voice screamed. But of course he didn't, he could never do that to her. ''Not as much anymore.''

She seemed pretty please about that.

''I know we're talking but it still seems like we're being so careful, you know?''

''We're just scared.'' he said. ''I've made so many mistakes in my life because I was _scared_. It's the reason I bailed when you said _I love you_. It's the reason-''

''Blah. Blah. Blah. Blah.''

God, he loves her.

Now they get into their fears. How he doesn't want to end their amazing friendship. How she doesn't want to get hurt again. What if she picked up an STD again... wait, urinal infection? And what are people going to say about them?

_HOGWASH!_

* * *

They're married now, who would have guessed that?

They even have a daughter.

They've moved away. She still works at Sacred Heart, while he's moved closer to Sam. Her moving with him, despite the longer journey to work.

Things have changed over the years, they've grown up. Together.

Their story wasn't an epic fairy tale of love and happiness. Most of the time it was full of hurt. It wasn't a story that could be passed on from generation to generation, mainly because people didn't want to listen to eight years of complicated. But it was theirs. And that's all that really mattered.

* * *

**AN: **I wrote this months ago when I couldn't sleep, I guess it was me just trying to get into their minds. I admit, I've not watched every episode of Scrubs, mainly the later seasons, I didn't really like the first couple of ones. Anyway, this was just random drabble. But I hope that you liked it, well, if anyone even read it that is.

Thanks for reading. If you think this would good enough to deserve a review, then maybe you could send me one?:)


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